Walls, walls walls …. Walls to keep things in. Walls to keep things out. Borders and boundaries. Protection and proclamation! Walls in our outer world are largely a part of the separation reality that we have created and perpetuated here on Earth. The letting go of walls is a major part of our return to unity within ourselves to the Divine – God – Creator and the embracing unity with all of Life – everyone and everything.
Living without walls is an experience that the Universe and I (God I AM) have been taking me on to teach me and bring me into a grand new level of balance and inner strength that only comes from unifying within ourselves with our Divine True Self, rekindling our hearts and returning fully to our innocence ….
Living Without Walls is an ongoing dialog (blog) of this experience that I have been on with my beautiful wolfdog Ishnahnay and other friends along the way. Because I have been categorized as homeless by society the many experiences that I/we have had through the mainstream human resources and culture, along with those of my deeper spiritual awakening may be of assistance to others traveling a similar path. This is what I am being inwardly guided and thus the purpose of this blog.
January 2016 the journey of living without walls of our own physical tangible home began. A home where we (especially me) could go within, shut the door and be alone with God; with myself, and such a deep place of sanctuary where I was free to express myself without any other people hearing or seeing. Such a place everyone enjoys and deserves. My greatest joy of having a place with tangible walls was my ongoing conversation with God. Such conversations that Neale Donald Walsh wrote about, have been a normal feature of my life ongoing. Yet even living in a spiritually advanced place as Mount Shasta, such conversations are not something I care to do in public.
Having my own space with walls also provided me safe space to have deep inward conversations with myself and my Divine True Self, what some call our Presence or God I AM. Because of the path that I have walked in this life as a mystic, shaman and spiritual seeker, deep inner and vertical conversations have been an extremely important part of my day to day life. People such as myself are often called sensitives, as we find greater peace alone with God/Goddess within the walls of our homes or out in nature where we know that God is in everything through the expression of LOVE.
So in January 2015 when Ishnahnay, Mitchel and I were sent packing because I no longer had the financial flow to keep our house/home, the journey truly began for me to understanding the words of great teachers such as Jesus Christ: “Your true home is within your heart. It is there and only there that you will truly know God and yourself, as they are One”.
Yet in order for “you” to fully live this Divine truth, all the walls and barriers of your heart must come down. For me this also required letting go of my physical ho me and most of my belongings I kept within, as they were all part of the safety net and expression of my self worth. All of the stuff diffused my inner strength because I depended upon the environment created through them to protect and comfort me from the world of unloving humans.
Mind you I was not always at odds with humanity, however a deep shyness that I often saw in my Father seemed to grow and expand within me after my Mother passed in 2001, joining my Father who had passed in 1985. Being the youngest of three girls, I had a very close relationship with my parents. Through my Father I had an ally who understood my shyness and provided me an example of how to be successful in the world despite it as he had done so beautifully. My Mother was the fiery I can do anything I set my mind to of the pair. She pushed me, taught me and cheered me onward stating I was here to do something important and she was going to do her best to be sure I am successful!
Both went out of their way to support me in having opportunities to grow and succeed. What I did not realize is that they also shielded me from the harshness of the world through their love. When my Mother passed and I left my mainstream life in San Diego behind to join the community of Mount Shasta, I unintentionally put myself on the fast track of spiritual growth and evolution.
My Polyanna optimism became sorely challenged, as all the grief of “loosing” my parents was compounded by the demands of living in a small, financially poor, spiritual mecca where everyone gauged their inner journey by how the community treated and supported (or didn’t) them. Never before had I lived where my vast skills and experiential background were insufficient to create the financial flow that I required for my family. But like all things there is a gift …. This served to unleash within me all the doubts, insecurities and other imbalances that had to be loved back into balance in order for me to be fully at home within my heart.
No doubt this is why my Divine True Self guided me to Mount Shasta. What we don’t know about is difficult to heal. Such an intense journey of seeing all that was not love within me was almost more than I could take. I went to the darkest places within my soul – the dark night of the soul – it is called. Twice my physical body almost gave up. Twice divine grace kept me alive strengthening my physical body so that it could support my journey of emotional balancing. It was onset of living without an outer home that forced me to deal with my emotional imbalances, and to choose self-love over self-destruction.
More to come …. Blessings to everyone and everything …
~ Kathryn Shanti Ariel